No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
