cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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