I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
