i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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