She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
