if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
