he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
