didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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