Barsexuality is the new black.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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