You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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