I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
