Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
