if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
