im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
