Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
