Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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