yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
