Kiss
Puke
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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