Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
