OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
