Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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