yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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