I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
