hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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