Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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