captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
