this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
