thus making me awesome and them whores
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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