I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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