She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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