Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
