She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
