it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
