You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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