That's when you crack a 10am beer
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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