I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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