Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I believe in your delicious
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
