so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
