I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
babies were throwing up all over the place
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
