Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
