Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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