I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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