everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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