The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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