do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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