spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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