Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
