Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
