woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
