what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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