I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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