she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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