how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
