I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
