Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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